Not many people know the story behind Pete and his diagnosis. He kept it quite and only told certain people as he didn't want people making a fuss!

Many people have asked me what had happen but for those of you that don't know this Pete's journey.

Pete was only 37 when he sadly passed away from cancer. Pete was admitted into hospital at the end of March due to a suspected blood clot, Pete spent a week in hospital where they discovered he had lymph nodes over his body but the hospital was unsure why. Pete got discharged after spending 6 days in hospital and was home in time to spend his birthday with family. Unfortunately only 4 days later he was admitted back into hospital, this time he did have a blood clot in his arm and his whole arm swelled up. More test where completed and the day before Good Friday Pete was told he had cancer, but we were unsure of what kind of cancer and what stage it was at, we had to wait another week and a half to find this information out. 

On the 30th April we got told the devastating news that Pete had terminal cancer and it was a rare and aggressive form. The consultant informed us that if Pete didn't have chemotherapy he would have roughly 6 months to live but he could have up to two years if he had chemo. At first Pete didn't want to have chemo, because he didn't want to suffer from the side effects but he decided that if it meant he could have more time with his girls and making memories as a family he would give it a try. Three days later, he had his first round of chemo and he seemed so much better a completely different person to how he was. 

After a long 5 weeks stay at the hospital, Pete was finally allowed to come home. We kept it a secret from Molly that daddy was coming home and both Molly and Sophie was so happy to see him. While at home, we started to make plans of what we wanted to do, we wanted to have has much family time as possible, making memories, we wanted to finally get married, so plans were made. Unfortunately only 5 days later after being discharged Pete began to feel ill again and was taken back into hospital to have fluid drained from his stomach and while in hospital he developed another blood clot. Pete stayed in hospital for 4 days and was then discharged but he was really poorly.

Two days later I took him to hospital to have his next round of chemo but they took one look at him and said he was to ill and he had to be readmitted back to hospital. They put him on IV antibiotics and he seemed to be better but only 4 days later on the Tuesday (21st May) myself and his mum and dad were asked to go to a meeting with his consultant. Pete chose not to attend this meeting and we later found out that his consultant had already spoken to Pete. His consultant told us that the chemo had to be stopped as Pete was to unwell and he only had a matter of days left to live. My whole life came crashing down around me and all I could think about was how I was going to tell our daughter that daddy was dying. Molly knew that daddy was poorly, her and sophie went to see him in hospital nearly every day but we decided not to tell Molly the whole truth of him having cancer, as we wanted to protect her for as long as possible but that was all about to change. 

Has I sat in the consultants room crying, she told us that she had already spoken to Pete and he wanted her to tell us that he didn't want us crying and being upset about him and he wanted me to be strong and brave for the girls. 

From the moment Pete was admitted into hospital all he cared about was making sure that me and the girls were are ok, that we were being looked after and that I had the support I needed from my family. Pete would regularly tell me and my sister to stop crying! He didnt want people to be sad, he wanted everyone to be happy and to carry on with life. 

During our meeting with the consultant, Pete got moved to St Wilfred hospice, so I went down there to see him. I didn't say anything about what was said at the meeting, we just spoke about the girls and what I had been up to, he seemed ok but not the best I had seen him. I said goodbye to him and told him I would see him the next day and bring the girls down to see him. 

The next morning (22nd May) I got messages from Pete him telling me that he was panicking and that he didn't want to be at the hospice and he wanted to come home. I texted him back to say stay calm down and I would be down shortly. I phone the hospice before the school run to ask how he was, they said he had a bad night and was deteriorating rapidly. I phoned my sister to sit with Sophie and I took Molly to school as normal, as I didn't want to worry her and I rushed to to hospice.

When I got there, he was not the Pete that I had seen just 14 hours before he was in bad way. The nurse told me that he was not well and anybody that wanted to see him, needed to do it that day. I let his mum know and told my family the latest news. Next thing I know my mum, dad, both my sisters and brother in laws had turned up at the hospice to see Pete and to support me. Pete's brother also drove down to be with him. All Pete's loved ones were around him and we all spent time with him. He was not really the Pete we knew, he could hardly speak properly, he was in and out of sleep and was rather agitated but now and again you could have a chat with him and he would come out with something that only Pete would say! The one thing he did keep up was going for a smoke! I took him for one last cigarette, and he asked me why everyone had come to see him. I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth, just told him that people wanted to see him. Once again I started to cry and Pete told me to stop being a melt and to make sure I look after the girls. 

We went back inside and Pete's very good friend had come to see him. Paris regularly visited Pete in hospital which I knew he appreciated and made a change from him just seeing me and his parents. 

We all sat around Pete's beside watching him getting worst and his life slowly drain away. It was heartbreaking to watch. At around 10.35pm, we all left the room while the carers helped Pete to get comfty and then all of a sudden we were told to come into the room because he was going. At 10.53pm Pete was gone. All of our lives had been changed forever. All I wanted to do was go home and hug our beautiful babies. Those 13 hours spent at the hospice was the worse hours of life, watching the person I love be in pain and agitated, knowing there was nothing I could do for him and the images will haunt me for the rest of my life but I'm grateful that I got to spend that time with him. 

Pete would often tell me that I was emotionaless and had no feelings, I don't think he had ever seen me cry so much as I did when he got diagnosed and if he read this, he would tell me what a melt I was being and to get a grip but you truely don't appreciate someone and them being in your life till they are gone and you are left with this massive gap in your life. 

Me and Pete had been together for 10 years and in that time we had many ups and downs. We weren't a perfect couple nor were we perfect people but we always managed to find our way through all the crap.  We probably fought more then what we were nice to each other but our relationship worked. We both are stubborn, like to get our own ways and loved a good argument. Pete once left me alone in a Turkish airport after we had an argument over McDonald's but that was what we were liked but at the end of the day we were always there for each other, no matter how horrible we could be to each other and in our weird ways we  loved each other. 

I am forever grateful that we had Molly and Sophie, the two people that we both love more then anything. 

Pete would often tell people that he was going to fight this awful disease for the sake of his girls. Pete remained so positive through it all, he was setting himself milestones that he wanted to reach, first Father's Day with Sophie, having the summer holidays off to spend time with the girls, our wedding, my sister's wedding, Sophie's first birthday but unfortunately Pete never got to see any of them but when these events happen he will be with us in our memories and hearts. 

It completely breaks my heart that Molly and Sophie are going to have to grow up without their daddy and that Pete is never going to see them grow or be there for all the special occasions in their lifes. Pete would often say that on Molly's 18th birthday he would be escorting her out in town with all her mates and hitting the clubs up with her. 

Molly has memories of her daddy but Sophie won't have any as she is to little. Which is why for both the girls, it would be lovely if people added their memories of Pete on here, any photos etc. Any messages people want to write to Pete. Would be so nice to see and keep his memory alive for all of us.